we must understand

Many times I must to broke up with my boy friend just because miss understanding. Many way I tried to keep my relationship, but as a woman I have no strong heart to stand with anger. Maybe because Im too young to know about love. The first time im falling in love, when I was 20 years old, he is older 5 years than me, his name is Carlo. For me he is so special for me in that time, we were together for a year. We broke up because we cant understand each other. When the first time we were stay together in one flat everything so perfect, just happiness that we had. After months and months everything changes, I felt that he have somebody else. And its hurting me when I knew it that he close with one girl in his school. I cant control my anger so I prefer broke up with him, and what he said to me is because he was bored with me, and what I said to him is fuck of from my face.First experience love for me its so importand, because I want to find boy friend who is care about me, love me, and the most importand is we understand each other. After Carlo my first love, Im looking new boy friend but cant find the best one for me. Five years after my first love now Im become 25 years old, but I cant find my lover. Im so lonely I need some one beside me, but I don’t want get hurt anymore. I must chose carefully, and I don’t want have the same problem like before.Saturday night usually I always hang out with my friends for get some fun, and this night its so different for me, I don’t know why I want to be feminine this night and my heart beating so fast. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. One my friend call my, “hey where are you? we are here in our favorite place.” “ok, I will be there in 15 minute.” I drive my motor and arrive in that place, my friends ordered my favorite drink. Im sitting in the bar, talking with them and enjoying jazz life music. Im feel the atmosfer in that place, I feel happy with them. We are loughing together, and talk bullshit about anything. I want to smoke, but Im forgot to bring lighter. Suddenly there is someone give me a lighter from behind me. I turn my body, and say thank you. My cigarette falling down after I look at him, my heart beating like a train, I cant blink my eyes, and he say “are you ok?” “yes, oh sorry” “this is your cigarette and this is the lighter.” “thank you so much.” My friends tease me with a joke and Im so shy in front of him. Then he say, “is it ok if I joint here?” “of course” my friends said that. One by one my friends was leave me a lone. Now just me and him. I don’t know what to say, so he start to ask me, “where are your friends going?” “I don’t know, usually we always go together, if you want I can call them to come back here.” “no, im just asking. If they want to leave its ok. What is your name?” “im Alice, and yours?” “Im Carlo” “what the hell?” “what did you say?” “nothing, forget it!” im just silent, his name is remind me of my first love, im so sad and I decide for going home. “I should go home” “why? Are you ok?” “yes, Im just tired” “ can we meet again sometimes?” “sure” “mm…may I know your phone number Alice if you don’t mind?” I tell him my phone number and I say bye to him. Im so disappointed this night, but I really like this guy, why his name must be the same?.One week, two week there is no news from him, I just though that he is not interested in me. I will forget it, and continue my life. This morning I woke up and ready go to work. Busy time to finish my document at work. I cant forget him, I miss him. This job make me tired, I want have smoke and drink coffee. I want to call him but I don’t know his number. What can I do is nothing. I continue doing my job till im finish around 9 pm. I go home, having shower and just want to sleep. My brain cant think anymore, to much thinking not good for me. I fall sleep so deep, till I cant hear my phone was ring. Next morning, im doing the same activity. Im forgot to bring my phone when I arrive in my work. “shit, where is my phone?aha silly Alice, how I can forget my thing?” I don’t care and I just work and work. Finish work, I want to buy dog food for my dog Jeny. Many toys for dog, I want buy one for Jeny. Im smiling because I imagine when I give this to Jeny, she will so happy. Arrived home, “Jeny, I have something for you” and she come to me. I gave the toy, and I go to my room, and check my phone. Who was called me 50 times? I don’t know this number, maybe its importand for me. I call back, “hi who is this?” “hi Alice its Carlo” “Carlo who?” “you don’t remember me?” “sorry , I have 2 Carlo friends” “we meet once in that place” “CARLO?? Is that you? really ? hey im sorry, I didn’t bring my phone at work because I was forget.” “its ok, do you have time now? Can we meet? After long time we didn’t meet” “yes, where?what time?” “now, in the same place.” “OK, I will get ready and go there.” “Ok then, see you soon.” Im so happy, get ready for meet my dream guy.We talk all night long, and this is happen many times. We meet when ever we want to meet. We become closer and closer. Not suspected we’re close for 6 months as a friend. One night at my friend home party, all of us was drunk including me and Carlo. I cant stop talking when im drunk, I didn’t realise im talking so loud, and I saying something that make my friends surprise and also Carlo. I am saying, “ I love You Carlo from the first time we met” The music stop, and my friends and Carlo looking at me. Carlo come to me and ask me, “what did you say Alice?” “what did I say? Is nothing” “please I want to know” “I don’t understand what are you talking about” “you said, you loved me” I shocked, and cant speak anymore.I open my eyes in the morning, “where am i?” “your home” “why,you are here?” “because you were drunk last night” “thanks for take care of me” “ok then I should go home” “ok” “before I go, may I ask you something?” “yes” “is it true, do you loved me?” “what the hell you are talking about?” “oh so you just drunk, ok then never mind” “wait Carlo, don’t miss understanding” “you already answear my quation, so I was wrong.” “wait! Can we drink coffee and talk?” “yes” I cant help my feeling anymore, I say about my feeling to him also I tell the story about my first lover. He give smile to me, and im so happy when he said that he have the same feeling with me.Many years we always together, now im 50 years old. Carlo my husband,my childrens are Tomy, Christine, and Jo made me to be happy person in this world.